Random teaching conversations

I had a boy and girl for one of my hours yesterday. They go to the same school, so they know each other outside of the tutoring place.

B: I'm supposed to be in grade 5 you know.
G: So? What grade are you in?
Me: He's in four. Now get back to work. We're working on division. What's...
B: But I'm supposed to be in grade 5. It's because in grade 1 my teacher didn't teach me anything.
Me: Okay, but right now you're doing matching meanings, so how about we focus on that.
G: That's because you had head surgery in grade 2.
B: No, I didn't. Did I?
G: You did. I was in your class in grade 2.
B: (to me) She wasn't in my class in grade 2. It's because my grade 1 teacher didn't teach me anything.
G: That's because of your brain surgery.
...
This continued on for awhile. We got the work done, but with a lot of "I had brain surgery?" "Yeah." "I don't remember... Are you sure?" "Yes."

And then *slam*. The B fell off his chair sideways. I have yet to see that one happen, so I have to admit I did laugh a bit. The G was beside herself with laughter.

The next hour I had a 16 year old boy (N) and a 10 year old boy (D).

Me: What are three things you can cut with D?
D: A knife, an ax. Down my head.
Me: Your head? Why are you cutting your head with an ax?
N: KKKKK NIF.. I said K-nif.
Me: Yeah, you did. D, what is one more thing you can cut with.
D: A saw... A CHAIN saw.
N: Like the chainsaw masacre. Did you see that movie?
Me: No, I don't like horrors.
N: You should see it.
D: It's so good.

I found out all about the movie. Including the mask made of human skin. Boys love the fact that I don't watch horror movies, so they insist on telling me all about them. Including the boy that asks me everytime, "Does your boyfriend like X?" IF I says "Yes", then his response is "So do I." If I say "No," then his response is "Me neither."