Random teaching conversations

I had a boy and girl for one of my hours yesterday. They go to the same school, so they know each other outside of the tutoring place.

B: I'm supposed to be in grade 5 you know.
G: So? What grade are you in?
Me: He's in four. Now get back to work. We're working on division. What's...
B: But I'm supposed to be in grade 5. It's because in grade 1 my teacher didn't teach me anything.
Me: Okay, but right now you're doing matching meanings, so how about we focus on that.
G: That's because you had head surgery in grade 2.
B: No, I didn't. Did I?
G: You did. I was in your class in grade 2.
B: (to me) She wasn't in my class in grade 2. It's because my grade 1 teacher didn't teach me anything.
G: That's because of your brain surgery.
...
This continued on for awhile. We got the work done, but with a lot of "I had brain surgery?" "Yeah." "I don't remember... Are you sure?" "Yes."

And then *slam*. The B fell off his chair sideways. I have yet to see that one happen, so I have to admit I did laugh a bit. The G was beside herself with laughter.

The next hour I had a 16 year old boy (N) and a 10 year old boy (D).

Me: What are three things you can cut with D?
D: A knife, an ax. Down my head.
Me: Your head? Why are you cutting your head with an ax?
N: KKKKK NIF.. I said K-nif.
Me: Yeah, you did. D, what is one more thing you can cut with.
D: A saw... A CHAIN saw.
N: Like the chainsaw masacre. Did you see that movie?
Me: No, I don't like horrors.
N: You should see it.
D: It's so good.

I found out all about the movie. Including the mask made of human skin. Boys love the fact that I don't watch horror movies, so they insist on telling me all about them. Including the boy that asks me everytime, "Does your boyfriend like X?" IF I says "Yes", then his response is "So do I." If I say "No," then his response is "Me neither."

I love my job right now.

I tutor kids 5 days a week. 3-5 hours a day. It is glorious. It would be even better if I had a full time job doing it, but I don't.

Today was a good day. I had my two autistic kids. One of whom cracks me up. He is so funny. We sing songs while he does his work. Kind of like this: "L does his work. Lalala. L does a good job. Lalala. Let's do some work. Lalala." It's a blast. There is a lot of "boobadooboo" as well.

The other autistic child I usually have alone, because well, he's a crazy boy. He draws machines that take his spelling words and change them into steam, which turns the motors. Today though I had with another boy who is probably on the verge of being autistic. That was interesting. One boy doing math the other boy reading. This was a snipet of conversation with the three of us:

Me: D, What's 47 + 2?
D: 48?
Me: Not quite. What's 47 + 1?
D: 48?
Me: Good. Now what's 48 + 1?
D: 49?
Me: Right. So 47 + 2 equals 49. Because we skip 48.
D: ohh okay.
Me: So what's 49 + 2?
D: EIGHTY!
Me: umm.. no. Try again. Add two to 49.
D: 82, 84....100
Me: (while D is counting) C, we're going to do some spelling. On your conveyor belt can you spell "walked" for me. Remember we're using silent letters!
C: But the man hasn't turned the machine on.
Me: Well, we'll have to put the words on first, and then he can turn the machine on when we mark the words.
C: Okay.
C&D: laugh because D has now reached 120 after counting from 82 to 100, and then skipping to 120.
Me: *sigh*

C eventually spelled walked wactd, and C counted from 27 - 39, it just took us about 10 minutes.